I trust that this writing finds you well today.
My life hasn’t had much change except the fact that the fatigue is just super overwhelming. I am struggling to fall asleep and can’t get up for work in the mornings. In the evenings I try to make thigs as calm and relaxed as possible but nothing seems to work.
In South Africa we are having change of season and its affecting my body big time. Sinus issues are on the increase and I don’t know how to sort out my pain levels. I wake up during the night in pain, from head to toe… you toss and turn and in the end I find myself walking up and down in the house trying to get rid of the pain. I am not ready to pop tablets in the middle of the night, im worried about the harm to my stomach lining… so I just bite the bullet and try to fall asleep again, but its difficult.
I am also experiencing higher anxiety levels lately… I started biting my nails again and my nerves are just shot… I am jittery and terribly worried all the time. I know that its affecting my sleeping habits and the rest of my health and wellbeing.
You won’t believe how many times a day I pray for a normal life, how much I pray for a cure and to have just one healthy day. When I wake up the next day and it’s another or the same or new health issue it makes me sad and despondent.
Lupus affecting my spirituality and there’s nothing I can do about it. Most of the time I find it difficult to pray, I find it hard to believe and have faith when I struggle like this. So I am not only fighting this beast by staying alive its affecting my head and my heart. So I have nothing to preach about, there’s just absolutely nothing to say at all.
I’m so tired of the daily issues, when I am sleeping the whole room is spinning, to the point where I go to the bathroom falling against the passage walls like a drunk. Every day I have an upset tummy, within 2 hours after I had my morning meds it will happen and it can happen a few times after the initial upset, it makes me feel sick and weak. i am still on Cyclosporine/Neoral and the rest of my meds.
The drive to and from work are the worst, because that is when I feel the sickest.
That is all for now…